Election Confessions and Reflections

I’m here to say that I am very pleased with the results of Tuesday’s election. No surprise, right? 

Now, two days after the election, I’m reflecting on my experience with this campaign, and my strong emotional attachment to all aspects of it, right through to today. Just some random observations.

1. I was alarmed by the intensity of my emotions. The projections, the inability to be objective, the way I was eager to vilify the other candidates, and the agitation I felt whenever I saw them or heard them speak. I felt I was caught up in something that was deeply primitive, both in myself, and in the soul of the country. I know I’m not alone in this; people on both sides of the race felt similar things. My emotions were extremely hard to control. I found I had to avoid talking about the campaign, listening to it, or engaging in conversation with anyone I perceived as not on the page with me. I couldn’t tolerate dissent. This was very scary to me.

2. I noticed a strong conflict inside myself around the idea of hope. Pendulum swings, all the way from deep cynicism and fear that I would find out my candidate was just another asshole vying for power, to the certainty that we all would live happily ever after, if we could just elect the man.

3. I also noticed a resistance to any real investment. I was content to believe he was the man for the job, and might have even punched someone who disagreed with me, but I was unwilling to volunteer for the campaign, or to give any money. I just could not risk investing, with the potential for failure. Couldn’t risk the disappointment. This is irrational as well, illogical and dysfunctional, I admit, but it was there. I simply would not put my money where my mouth was. Go figure. One very valid reason I refused to contribute was that I was offended by the obscene amount of money it requires to get someone elected in this country. This is morally wrong to me. On both sides, nearly a billion dollars spent, and for what? Negative campaign ads, hotel rooms, flights, etc. etc., all the while people are starving and struggling, right here in the US. Very hard to swallow, much less support.

4. The reality of the win is still sinking in. I resist letting myself believe it, or enjoy it. I have to remind myself that the election is over, and that the person I wanted to win actually won. I think at some level I actually believe that what I want, or what I think is right, is not possible. I think I secretly believe that assholes run the world, and there’s no justice or goodness to be had. I find I have to remind myself that Obama won, and when I do, I immediately take a breath into my heart, and I feel a moment of happiness, surprise and ease before returning to caution. I still can’t quite believe it.

5. I notice the incredulity I feel toward those who honestly believe Obama is evil, and that our country has taken a spiritual turn toward disaster. The syncretism of religion and Republicanism frightens me deeply from a spiritual perspective, and I have a new appreciation for the wisdom of separation between church and state.

6. I feel sad that the whole world is rejoicing, welcoming the news with relief and hope, while a sizeable group of people consisting of Neo-conservatives and the Religious Right are deeply dismayed and afraid.

7. I am honored to be able to witness history in the making. Of course, any election is history in the making, but this one is significant in a more powerful way. I’m happy to have been here.

8. I have a strong sense that our whole civilization is on the cusp of a powerful turn, the likes of which we haven’t seen in 500 years. I can’t help but feel that many things are changing, above and beyond partisan politics and even world events. We are in the crux of a shift that is impossible to resist, and this election is a small part of that shift, worldwide. 

That’s probably enough. Feel free to share your personal reactions. No accusations, please.